Mid-life crisis . . .

A couple of weeks ago, I received in the mail a friendly reminder that my driver's license is coming due. My last license was issued when I came home from Utah after I graduated from college. It has been 7 years since I finished college. 7 years. Wow. My new license expires in 2015. Got that? 2015. Wow. Now, as a general rule I am not afraid of aging. 25 was hard, 30 was hard. Whatever. (I'm hoping to reminisce about my thirtieth this week- it's a fun story) 32 is on the immediate horizon and I'm not scared. Thinking about the year 2015 seems really sci-fi-ish and unimaginable. Do you remember thinking that the year 2000 seemed futuristic? Flying cars and all? After getting past all that I started wondering and figuring out how old I'll be the next time I will have to renew it. Tick, tick, tick, gulp. Forty. FORTY! FORTY! My fortieth birthday has a task assigned to it already. Wow. That freaks me out. If I were a drinking woman, I'd be looking for a stiff one about now. If I really feared my age I'd become a drinking woman . . . Does anyone want to join me for coffee after I renew my next license? May as well make a day out of it. :)

A cool invention called:

Eave Spouts! (AKA Rain Gutters) Yep, the person who invented them truly deserves our praise. When I get a house, I hope it comes with eave spouts. I'd rather suffer through climbing up to clean out the gutters, than to be forced to suffer the torrential downpour pouring down on my arm as I'm unlocking the door, C'mon already! Why can't I unlock it this time?? Or the steady hosing you get down you back as you throw yourself headlong through the door way hiding behind the offending cascade. I bet the water is pristinely clean and sanitary, too.

I did a little research and learned that eaves (not eave) spout is a regional term. Am I the only one who calls them eave spouts?

Definitions from www.freedictionary.com: eaves spout

n. Northern U.S.

See gutter. See Regional Note at gutter.

gut·ter n.

1. A channel at the edge of a street or road for carrying off surface water.

2. A trough fixed under or along the eaves for draining rainwater from a roof. Also called regionally eaves spout, eaves trough, rainspout, spouting.

My computer monitor is still kittiwampus, so that'll be it for now. I've got some ideas for posts(that are deep and meaningful, well at least a little more than just whining!), hopefully I'll find the time for them . . . be sure to stop back, ok?

Cool . . .

The cool part is that I was watching missed TV shows on the internet on my TV. Cool, right? The not so cool part is that I can't figure out how to change my resolution back to 640x480, and it's stuck at 600x800 because it's the best of the options given. I've obviously goofed something up. May be time to phone a friend! Tomorrow, though. As for now, I'll settle for holding the computer back away from my face and scrolling back and forth, back and forth so that I can see all of my blog!

Later Gator!
A

Me as a Muppet.

You Are the Swedish Chef

"Bork! Bork! Bork!" Your happy and energetic - with borderline manic tendencies. No one really gets you. And frankly, you don't even get you. But, you sure can whip up a great chocolate mousse

The Muppet Personality Test


The Swedish Chef is, incidentally, my favorite Muppet Character.

home . . .

Ahh, I'm home again today, still sick. When lunchtime came around yesterday, I was so exhausted that I couldn't even eat. Knowing my love of food, I knew that I was most certainly sick! I talked to my principal about going home early if I could get everything done, and he reminded me that I should call in earlier than later to be assured a substitute. The sub I had Tuesday was in the building, so our secretary asked me if I wanted her to ask her then to sub for tomorrow. Sounded like a good idea, so I left for the day knowing that I wouldn't be back today. Wrapping up for the week took longer than planned, and so my attempt at "going home sick" was a pathetic 10 minutes. I didn't crawl out of bed until 12:30 today after persistently burrowing back into my pillow . . .

I'm still hoping to finish my tag from Babzy soon! Maybe this weekend, instead of last.

A

I can't run fast enough . . .

. . . to shake this thing! I went to my doctor yesterday, as I was confident he would help me to manage the symptoms, even if it was a bug. Turns out, he told me it was a sinus infection. Yuck. Again! Jeepers, it hasn't been that long since my last one! It probably started out with a virus on the 9th or 10th(note blog entry dated then), kicking my nose into overdrive, and after a couple of weeks of extra junk hanging out, some bacteria settled in and formed themselves an infectious party! They invited my ears to the party. My body seems to be working overtime trying to out an end to the party, leaving me absolutely shattered or knackered(British ways of saying really exhausted) I began my antibiotics yesterday, squeezing all 3 doses in in one day, and was feeling a little better even by last night. (which shows my doctor knows what he's talking about!) I also went to my chiropractor and he worked on the sinus pressure points in my face and neck, which is a funny process that includes him pressing on my cheek bone and brow bone of alternating eyes with the palms of his hands with all of his weight. I cannot even describe how funny it must look. He also pokes my face with his fingers above my sinuses and did some massage to get things moving. He's great, but it's pretty painful and I seriously have to fight the urge to slap him! It's a good pain, though . . .

I really had to go to work today, so off I went. I managed to make it through the day, but it was rough. On the last leg of the trip home I kept closing my eyes, just for a second. I even talked on my phone for a while, knowing that that would keep me a little more awake, but still . . . my eyes closed . . . just for a second, popping open again as soon as I remembered that I was driving a car on the freeway! and sleeping was most certainly not an option.

I think I'll stay home from church tonight and listen on our radio station. What an amazing thing to be able to be part of the body via the radio, or even on the internet! I tend to practice the "if you are sick enough to stay home from work, you are sick enough to stay home from church and vice versa; and if you are well enough to go to work, you are well enough to go to church and vice versa" as a general rule, but sometimes that just doesn't work out practically. I HAD to go to work today. I have a meeting to plan, which legally has to have so many days notice and I've been trying to organize it, but it's taking a long time. Now it's down to the wire. I think I'll be more pushy with the next one. After a full day of work, I'm so tired that I honestly don't think I can make it through church and work tomorrow. I feel like such a slug, but I know that I really am sick . . . I miss my family at church and am starting to feel like I'm missing a limb or something.

See you soon. Thanks for all the positive notes!

Amanda

It caught me . . .

I got that darned bug that's floating around. I felt it coming, but really hoped I'd get by. I don't know why I bothered hoping, though, I get sick EVERY fall when school starts. Why fight it? I moved my 13 inch TV into my bed room, stayed home from Bible study, called in sick for work tomorrow and am watching the season and series premiers that I would normally miss. Total crash out. I was sooo tired that I had a hard time getting to work this morning. I was 10 minutes early, so I set my cell phone alarm to rest for 5 minutes. I only lasted 3 before I started freaking my new coworkers out. One tapped on my window and asked if I was okay, another mouthed the same thing a minute later, and I knew that the 5 minutes was just not to be. The return trip tonight was just as big of a struggle. My throat hurts, my head hurts, my ears are going funky and I am butt-tired. Maybe I'll finish that tag from Babzy tomorrow . . . maybe.

Good night.


Memory foam, here I come . . .

EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

I was just looking at other people's sites, you know, looking at your profile and jumping to people who have certain key phrases in common with you, and I came upon a site that seemed normal, until I clicked on a link from there about music this person liked. YIKES! Whoa- porn! Actually I'm not sure if it qualified as porn or just as disgusting pictures of a graphic nature, and I sure as Heck am not going back to find out! Ugh, I'm not sure that I'll ever get that image out of my brain . . . I wish I could do a system restore to my brain! Quick, revert to a time of about 15 minutes ago!

I love all of my Blogging Buddies, but sometimes the internet isn't all sweetness and light, ya know?

Memory foam and cars . . . .

Yeah, this post is a hodgepodge!

My new bed is a memory foam bed that I got from my aunt and uncle. They bought it, and then gave it to my cousin and her husband when they got a thicker memory foam. My cousin and her husband also bought a thicker memory foam. My uncle gets furniture at cost through his job and is retiring in December so they are getting all the furniture they think they may need before them. I also got a great couch. Both for a reasonable price. I've never slept on a memory foam mattress before and it's kind of weird. It's been one week now, and it's still really weird. It is apparently heat sensitive and your body heat causes it to shift and fit your form. There are no springs, at all! I had no idea how set I was in my mind about beds bouncing and giving way underneath you. It is completely unnerving to roll over and for the entire bed to just stay put. I'm not sure if I'm going to adjust yet. I bought a new pillow today hoping that better pillows will fulfill my "nesting need" and make me more comfortable over all. Have you all ever slept on a memory foam mattress? Or heard stories about them?

My next question is about cars. I'm going to get a new car sometime in the near future. My current car has 144,000 or thereabouts and being a mid- to large- sized car, the fuel efficiency just isn't there for the miles I'm putting on in a week. I'd love to go hybrid or something closer, but I'm pretty sure I can't afford it right now. I'm looking at getting a small or mid- size car with good gas mileage. Probably used. Do you have any ideas where I could start looking? Makes and models of cars that you know or have heard of? Must be dependable, good on gas and easy on the eyes(not really required, just a perk!). I'm just hoping for a jumping off point!

Happy weekend to you all!
A

Change . . .

I decided that it was time for a template change. I clicked over to one of the blogs I check regularly, and realize that I was suddenly looking at my own blog, well, it looked just like mine, but with different words and pictures . . . I somehow fear that the dozen or so blog templates given as options from blogger just may not be enough to go around, seriously inhibiting our individuality. I like brown, I'm a brown kind of person. When choosing a shirt to wear to a concert last night in our coffeehouse? I chose brown, of course. I have brown hair and hazel brown eyes. I'm comfortable with brown. There is more to me, however, than my hair and my eyes. I don't think I can be comfortable there for long. Could someone please, please tell me how to get my own template, before I get sick of the brown? I'm fine for now, but change, it is a comin'! Could you tell me, too, how to put my picture, or a picture that represents me on the comments that I leave on other people's blogs? You know, like Babzy in her shades! Or LP and her, good grief, I don't know what to call that thing! Jeepers, and then what picture would I put on it anyway!??! Okay, I'll figure that one out, if you'll help with the rest!

A

Confessions of a wench . . .

Wench: servant girl, peasant girl, wanton woman.

I must confess that I have been indulging my flesh. I've indulged my flesh on the free way, in the grocery store, in my conversations with people. Let me explain. The Bible talks about the flesh as a bad thing. The part of your body and soul that is selfish and carnal and smelly. The part of me that I will forever fight against, even though as a Christian I am a "new creation" and born again, so to speak. It will haunt me until I finish the race set before me, until I cross that great finish line in the sky, or whatever. The problem is that I have instead chosen to stop fighting against my flesh and FOR the things of God(which I want) and have instead given in, readily eating more ice cream, driving faster on the freeway, getting angrier then I know I should. I have ceased to strive for moderation and have just taken to doing what makes me feel good. Have you heard the expression that the dog that gets the biggest, the fastest, is the one you feed the most? The dog I want to get the biggest is the Spiritual. Instead, as I'm tired and busy, I'm feeding the dog, the Flesh, and he's not pretty. I don't want to give in, to give up. I've stumbled and now is the time to get back up, even though the Flesh dog is easier to feed and more fun to watch grow.

My epiphany came as I was driving home on the freeway today. I found myself closer to giving at least 2 different drivers the bird-finger than I have been for years. I would have liked to think that after more than 11 years as a Christian I would have been past that, and yet here I am, envisioning myself waving that hand right out the window, the truck driver having deserved every wave. By the time I get home, I've practiced that anger and impatience to such a degree that my relationships are suffering. If people aren't doing what I think they should, or they hurt my feelings(god forbid, right?) I'm quick to return the favor and am vicious. I grew up in a household where we knew just what buttons to push to hurt and in a fight, we raced to hit those buttons in each other, just to protect our own buttons. Healthy, right? As a Christian, God has been dealing with me, and has been conforming me more to His image. It's a good thing, a GOD thing. He's helping me to have compassion, love, grace for people that I just didn't have on my own. I have digressed. For this there is grace. God still loves me. He still has a plan for me. He still sees me as a wonderful daughter. I see the day-to-day reality. The failures. Don't get me wrong, I see the successes, too, the joys, the blessings, the excitement He has for me in the future, but I'm not happy with the detour I've taken from the joyful path. I don't like me then. My mom has told everyone that I am a special ed teacher for years. I had the degree, I worked with the kids, but I was only a paraeducator for 6 years. No matter how many times I explained Mom, I'm not really a full out special ed teacher, she still introduced me to everyone as her daughter, the special ed teacher. She has always been so proud of me. (But Mom, I HATE my kids right now! and I could be teaching teaching, again, the day-to-day reality) I kind of see my relationship with God like that. He sees me as His finished, perfect, beautiful Princess, even though I've slacked, turned my back or even spit in His face. He loves me with a perfect love.

If I want to continue to grow with God at the pace I have chosen, I must choose to put my flesh to death, to "crucify the old man", again. It will be an ongoing path in life. I am completely certain that I do not want the alternative path, what is behind door number 2, though. Jesus asked Peter once "are you leaving me, too?" and Peter responded "where else would I go Lord? You alone hold all the chocolate in the world". Well, that's my paraphrase. He actually said "you hold the words to eternal life" or something like that. Where else would I go? I've seen too much of God to want anything else.

Along with that comes some repentance. Changed behavior and turning and going the opposite direction. I must stop being ruled by my flesh, and work on incorporating discipline and moderation into my life. I also apologize to people that I've snapped at or injured. My Flesh Dog has maimed several. I'm sorry.

I know that some of you have stopped reading, and some of you are thinking, "you're being too hard on yourself" and some of you are thinking "what a fricken nutcase!" But I've chosen this path, and I wouldn't want anything else. Come on Spiritual Doggy, curl up on the couch beside me and have a snack. We'll fatten you up in no time! Good dog!

Oh, and the wench part? I've chosen to be a servant to the King, even though I am a daughter, too.

Guess what? I can find my ideal mate online. If I believe the spam folder of my email that is. Maybe I should stop waiting on God and make a move on some sleazy website? Cool. I bet that would work out well . . . maybe I'd find someone to abuse with my garlic triscuit breath.

Good night, really.

Really.

yawn . . .

Road trip . . .

I stopped today for another pound. Not because I finished the half from yesterday, but because I am now dealing the stuff to my sister . . . gotta share something you love so much, right? I also had a double shot of espresso for the ride home. It was that kind of day.

I'm off to go out to eat now, not sure where. I think I'm gonna run to Walmart first for those triscuits . . .

Getting new furniture tomorrow if I can find a truck to borrow . . . a memory foam bed and couch with recliners in each end from my aunt and uncle. I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it.

I'm about to lose control,

AND I THINK I LIKE IT!


Update: It 9:00pm and I've bought all the roasted garlic triscuits they had on the shelf. Well, honestly, they only had 2 boxes and there was a display out in the aisle, but I really didn't see any on the display! I also bought some crack pepper(I know) and olive oil. I haven't tried them yet, too full, but I'd bet they have crack as an ingredient some where in the list . . .

Off to bed now . . .

Honey! I'm HOME!

It's 7:00 and I just walked in the door. For me, that's early. It's like a night "in"! I'm warming up supper, munching on Triscuits and checking in with the "real world". A couple of things about my day:

The sky today was uh-maaazing! This morning there was a long dark set of clouds in the way of the sunset. As the sun was struggling to rise above them, it was blocked by said clouds, but caused the outline of the clouds to glow vibrantly along the top edge. As it rose up, above the cloud/outline was a dark shadow caused by the cloud and above that was radiant beams of sunlight shooting straight up from there. My piddly description cannot possibly do it justice. It was phenomenal. On the trip home, the clouds radiated from the sun. They were in long straight rows arranged in a radial symmetry from the sun. Strange, and again, my words can't do justice.

As I speak, er- type, my smoke alarms are going off in unison. And still I type. I'm getting so good at tuning stuff out . . . I have some premade garlic bread in the oven, actually, HAD some in the oven and even though it isn't burning, the alarms are so sensitive and the air circulation just right to set off the alarms almost every (OH! Blessed silence!!!) time I use my oven. I refused this time and am just TOO tired to get up and run around opening windows. I turned on the stove fan and opened the front door from where I sat. That's as good as it gets tonight. I'll wait it out thanks.

It's been what, 3 weeks at my new job? It was time to start exploring along the drive. There is this little coffee shop in Star Prairie called "This Old Store" or something. They advertise that they roast their own coffee daily. Now- I'm a bit of a coffee deperado, er, I'm desperate for coffee, and LOOOOVE fresh roasted dark roast. We have a great coffeehouse here in town, but we don't roast our own. I stopped in after work today just to check it out. It's great little old building with painted old tin ceilings and WALLS(I've never seen tin walls before!). It's a couple from St. Paul Park, MN and they've bought this business and are hoping to move closer. They really do roast their own. As the lady and I were chatting about coffee, one particular roast caught my attention. Road Trip. A dark roast called Road Trip. I think we're going to be old frineds, Road Trip and I, but I started with a half pound just to work into it gently. I'll let you know for sure this weekend.

Well, I'd write more, but I've just finished the last of my Triscuits and I have to go curl up into the fetal position and rock until the morning comes. I will have to schedule a trip to the store tomorrow.

"It's a hard Knock life for me.


It's a


hard Knock


life for


ME!

I'm A, and I'm an addict . . .

This is the part where you all say, "Hi A!" in a totally non-judgemental sort of way. Then I confess that I've discovered Roasted Garlic flavored Triscuits, and I've eaten almost the whole box since yesterday. And it was GOOD! Y'all have got to get your own box!~~(O wait! That's another kind of treat . . . )

I heard that LP- I just know you said, "and you wonder why you're single??" Yeah, at least there isn't anyone but myself to suffer the garlic after taste later . . . It's one of the perks!

Get your own, then you'll be addicted too and I won't feel so guilty. Oh, yeah, they have whole grains, so I should be pretty darn regular for awhile! I suspect however, that Nabisco's "Sensible Snacking" section on their website doesn't include eating most of a box of any flavor triscuits. Just a suspicion, though. I mean it, go get a box.

A


Now, you still haven't left to get a box. I can see you.







Yep, you're still here.







They are good, trust me! Go ahead, be gone with you!

BTW-

I forgot my wallet in yesterday's pants pocket today. I fully intended to get gas after school. Desperately need to get gas after school, in fact. Was actually counting down the miles in anticipation. Part of the problem is because my gas gage has recently given up the ghost, and it's a constant battle to predict just how far I can actually drive on a tank of gas, comparing the number of miles driven with a vague memory of "miles to empty' numbers in my head. I am too cheap to fill my tank 3 times per week, and so I was hope, hope, hoping that I'd be able to fill up only twice per week, making myself feel a little better anyway. This leaving me with next to no gas left, facing another hour drive between me and my wallet, containing my credit card, debit card, driver's license, and my cash! Fortunately I discovered this almost immediately upon leaving school this afternoon and was able to borrow $20 from a co-worker. How embarrassing! My wallet quickly found it's way back into my purse. I wonder if I could carry around one of those big logging chains, attaching wallet to purse? Maybe not.

It's coming!

It's official. It's coming. This dog-gone sickness that hits me EVERY dang fall. I was diagnosed with "hayfever" in college, perhaps because they couldn't find anything else? I was diagnosed with allergies when I was 26. "They" have no idea what I'm allergic to. I do however have the list of nearly 30 things I wasn't allergic to at that point. My doctor once tried to find a pattern to my sinus allergy issues, in hopes of determining the allergy, but it was spread out in a kind of repeated pattern, including September, and I think November, but not October, or something random like that.

I have to wax philosophical, though for a minute- because it's my blog! I strongly believe in the Biblical storyline of creation. I believe that our bodies were not created for this type of world, and through Adam & Eve's sin, the world as they knew it fell. Fell from perfection to an imperfect world. A world where good people suffer and A suffers from some unknown allergy to a toxin that comes to find her on a regular basis. . . .sigh . . . A world where we work really hard to make a living, and where my sleep schedule is less than ideal, thereby weakening our immune systems even more to those terrible poisons(pollen, cold viruses from a couple of hundred upper elementary children and the likes!) I'd expound further, but I'm afraid I'll have dreams of big, bad viruses and germs coming after me! On that note . . . good night!

Hmm. . . the concert extravaganza yesterday went fabulously. It is a monumental undertaking, with a small army participating and I (along with 100 or so of my closest friends) am exhausted. My brain has ceased to function. My body is struggling. Bed time is coming!

On a separate note, I received a bill from Your General Hospital today, well yesterday, but we got the mail today! I'm not sure what the problem was, or what the heck the problem would even have to be to justify sending me a bill from March 11th on September 9th. Unless my fingers deceive me, that's less than a week shy of SIX FLIPPIN' MONTHS! My old insurance had always been fairly on top of things. Certainly not 6 months to process claims! This leads me back to my general irritation and dislike of Nebraska, and the overall strangeness and incompetency of my damn-near-$1000 emergency room visit. They probably charged me for every one of the needles they stuck in me, trying their gosh-durn best to get blood, or the extra time with the nurse while she was asking for details like what I did for a job, while I was curled up trying no to vomit in the waiting area. Or maybe it was the skill of a vet, which I'm still not entirely sure if it meant a vetran, a veterinarian or Yvette. Or maybe they charged by the hour- I mean, c'mon, the more than an hour I spent waiting before the doctor even came in to see me in the EMERGENCY ROOM would have ran the bill up alone, but hey, when you're covered in your own vomit and fighting to control your bowels- you should be grateful that your doctor took the time to shower so at least HE smelled good, right? . . . shudder . . . Okay, I'm done ranting. If you want more, you could always look through the spring break trip archives(March).

Rest assured, in their great generosity, they've given me 10 days to remit the $208.00 in full. If it took 6 months to bill it, how long until they turn me over to the creditors? This would be a great experiment, if it wouldn't mess with my credit! This will be one more clinic with a claim to my life for at least the next several months! (again, don't get me started on health care!)

I think that perhaps I should do some more research as to why it took so long . . .

quick post

Hi all! I'm still alive, although with my not-so-mad-driving-skills as of late, it may not last long! It's amazing how terrible of a driver you can become when you start doing it for nearly 3 hours a day! I get really distracted! I started seeing my kids today, I think it'll be fun. They spent the first 2 days of school with their regular education classes to get in their grooves! It's starting to feel do-able!

Saturday is our big festival, Yeshuapolooza. It's a 6 band "college block party" in Menomonie Wisconsin, put on by our church college group, with a little help pitched in by everyone else, including yours truly! I'm very excited! I'm also excited that life may slow down just a little afterward! We have some fantastic bands coming, and its free, if you're in town!

I've been bullied into a quick post by my friend, Table-top Joe. After finally posting himself he decided to harass me, claiming sleepless nights waiting for my blog. Yeah, right! I know he's got too much on his plate with his lovely wife and kids to be that concerned! Thanks for caring enough to guilt me though!

I must sleep now, 4:40 comes reeeeeaaaaaaallllllllyyyy early. There is also the problem with staying awake during my morning commute . . . despite my french press coffee and my diet Dr. Pepper.

Hope to see you all again soon!

A